5.2.10

gas leaks and 'the damp'

Nov 9

So let’s go back, way back to that original Wednesday. I do believe I left off with the mysterious and exciting gas leak. Yes.

A quick tour of jenna’s flat. She had a surprisingly spacious room and a big bed, which was good considering I was sleeping in it, and this was when my personal space bubble was surprisingly far bigger than it is now.  She showed me her roommate colin’s room, which was quite tiny. Poor colin. What a champ, giving her the big room. She had a bed, a table, some drawers, etc, as well as a slightly mysterious closet. ( HINT: FORESHADOWING)

I have no idea what time we went to bed. Maybe 2? Maybe 3? After many strongbows. That is all I know. But I DO know that we awoke at 7am to a phone call. Apparently it is colin’s old roommate, a dapper South African named Sean. He has some news for us. “ohhey, by the way, jenna ,there’s a gas leak.” “Really?” says jenna, “ When did you find this out?” “Last night,” says sean. “Where’s it coming from?”  Oh just that closet in your room. No worries.”  “OH OK COOL.”

That’s my version at least. Jenna was probably more eloquent while at the same time being more profane. Something only she can do really. So around 8:30 sean comes in with a man from National Grid. I am still in pajamas. Most likely still in bed. When the come in the room.  Fun! Good morning strangers! I wish we could have met on better terms. Such as. Not in bed. And not during a gas leak. But here we are.

So it seems that the National Grid man found several problems, including gas leaks and switches and levers that won’t turn off. To elucidate: if there is a house fire or something of that nature, there is literally no way to switch off the gas seeing as this man could not physically move it at all.  The man seemed like he could have at some point been the inspiration for a Billy Bragg song. A very nice, hardworking, blue-collar, Cockney man probably in some kind of union somewhere.

Well anyway, since jenna doesn’t officially live there yet (it’s complicated) and sean was the one who called in the Grid man (actually it was another guy the day before who called the Grid guy because he smelled gas when he was there inspecting “The Damp.” Yes, it seems they also have a horror movie growing in their little flat:

“THE DAMP”: In a woooorld where your towels never full dry, where your skin will always be dewy, where you life is ruled by….THE DAMP. When you least expect it: an unseemly water stain, an innocent drip from the holes in your skylight that the ivy tries to fight through, it’s THE DAMP. Coming soon to theatres near you this holiday season.
This film is not yet rated”

Ahem. Excuse me. So yes. The  Grid guy’s damsels in distress radar must have gone off, because about ten minutes after he leaves because he doesn’t have the necessary part, we hear a knock on the door. Still in our pajamas mind you. Jenna answers the door and I overhear the same man explain that he has a friend who fixes this kind of stuff, that he called him, and he is coming in 45 minutes. The man then said that he would wait outside for him, and refused our offer to let him wait inside. He really was awesome. What an upstanding human being.

We take this time to each shower and get changed into presentable clothing and out of pajamas. The two men eventually come back in. They clearly enjoyed one another’s company and they were laughing and joking the whole. I believe a direct quote from one was: “I think I am actually sweating. What is this? I am leaking!” Then we all enjoy a cup of tea together in the kitchen.
GAS LEAKS ARE FUN AND HIP AND COOL. You should try it. all the cool kids are doing it.

Our newfound teatime buddies fix up the leak and put on some new levers, warning us that the heat might not work for a while ( They were not fibbing).

I used all this time to plan and research, seeing as I hadn’t actually booked a bunch of trains or hostels…a bit last minute this time… so all that time certainly did not go to waste.

The men leave us a note telling us what was wrong with the gassy closet so that jenna and colin can explain it to their jerk landlord, and then the men leave without even attempting to bill jenna. Saints. They must have daughters, we decided. Daughters that they didn’t want to die in gas leaks, as we very well could have. (not really, I couldn’t even smell it). I think they are nice, kind, helpful men. Jenna says it’s because all British men are misogynists who think girls can’t do anything.

Either way. Pretty sure we couldn’t have fixed that gas leak. BUT it was a very exciting way to start the day. And jenna’s claim that she her London luck is much like my American luck is proven.

Leak free is the way to be.That sounds like a tagline for one of those overactive bladder commercials. How gauche and inappropriate. i apologize.


there is a concern for safety at least. this is where it all came from.



 one of the free papers they give out in london, wine glass, and the many thanks i believe is part of the note from the gas leak fixers. 


oh yeah. we also found out who our new president was when we woke up. britain was really very very happy about this. as witnessed from the many strangers who discussed the new president with me on my journey. everyone i spoke to thought there was really no other option. just like my tube friends' "it's got to be obama" statement emphasizes

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