the reason i like cameraphones

the salesman at best buy hated me the minute i opened my mouth. 

i have never really been one to, let's say.. overindulge... in technology. i am just now beginning to get into it. i have developed a crush on adobe. i want to be google's friend. and i am starting to itch for an iphone even though i know it would be an abusive relationship.

but let's go back a year and half...

so when it was time for me finally get rid of the wonderful loyal phone i had for 4 yrs and upgrade my cell phone in the summer of 08, i decided to peruse best buy's selection before going to the verizon store.

i do believe all best buy employees are equipped with heat-seeking technology when they are handed their blue shirt and name tag. the minute i walk into that store the sentry they post by the door says hello to me. i can hardly get into an aisle before an energetic best seller pounces on what he hopes will soon become a best buyer if he can just be helpful enough.

so of course by the time i touch a cell phone in best buy, a man pops up behinds me and asks if i need help. i am fairly certain he rappelled from the rafters when i was distracted by something shiny. clearly my cries of pain and my damsel in distress ponytail set off his alarm and he came to my rescue.

i like being helped. but i always feel a little weird when i have no intention of buying something that day and someone wants to help me. plus i really didnt think he was going to want to hear what i had to say. but i humored him. because he was just trying to be a nice guy.

so he asks me what i  want in a phone. and i , being me, say very seriously: "i would like my phone to be able to call people."

that is all. and then there was a big awkward silence.

so i added. "oh and a cameraphone. i guess i like having that."

i think that alone is what stopped him from committing a murder-suicide right there. sadly, he took this as encouragement and proceeded to ask me if i wanted a phone with fancy texting? a keyboard? music player? a phone with gps? internet? a phone with A BRAIN? with religious and political affiliations??

ok the last two arent true. BUT THEY WERE IMPLIED.  should have stopped while he was ahead.

anyway. here are a few photographic examples of why i like camera phones. i often come across strange things, though rarely i have the mindset to remember to document them. here is what happens when i do:

this shirt was found at a thrift shop in point pleasant. alicia and i sifted through the rack of random old shirts. there were so many gems. including one from an actual family reunion. it was amazing, but huge. i came very very close to buying this shirt. i am impressed with the fact that the olympics let them use the logo.i am very intrigued in what might take place in the reading olympics. perhaps who can read the tiniest font? who can properly pronounce the most monosyllabic words in a row without faltering? or simply who can read the heaviest books? i dont know where belmont is or if it has hills. but if they can teach that dog to read, then my god, man  what can't they do?!?

OH MY GOD. YES. YES. YES. there is possibly nothing better in the world than this dog toy, also found in point pleasant nj. these two finds were even better than the Polish deli we went searching for in the first place. look at that dapper dog! LOOK AT IT!   i would have gotten this for my dog if it were cheaper and if it werent the size of her face. hell i would have gotten this for myself if it were cheaper. BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME. that is all.

if you can't  read it: RU18YET

yes thats right. this gem of a human being either attends, or worse, works at the community college i work at. i just can't say enough about this stellar man. or woman. but boy i hope its a man. because i find his black bmw with full tinted windows, and his inquisitive and thoughtful license plate so irrestiably attractive. asking the questions first! how mature and responsible! life will be so excited for this car owner when they actually turn 18. or have an interaction with a human.

fairfield university recently purchased this for its campus. it was about 80,000 dollars. 'no sorry, we can't provide you with financial aid, we really needed this almost inappropriately anatomically correct stag. maybe next year kids!'

you're going to have to enlarge this to read all of the glory. this was found in my bathroom stall in the medical building my dentist is in.  i really really want to know who the 'we' in this is. is it my dentist? is it the janitor? is it a small child who LOVES CAPS LOCK AND EXCLAMATION POINTS SO MUCH THEY NEEDED A VENUE FOR SELF EXPRESSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG

whoever it is. they struck a nerve with the cursive fancy pants responder.

i love being passive agressive and do they!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a christmas shop in New Hope, PA. and by christmas shop i mean creepy-buff-blank-stare-weak wristed-bearded-old-plush-possessed-merman shop. for all your creepy-buff-blank-stare-weak wristed-bearded-old-plush-possessed-merman shop needs!

oh . forgot to mention. also for all your sketchy-rodeo-santa needs  as well..

ahem. and your.. anthropomorphic-ten-gallon-hat-wearing-gunslinging-belt-wearing-despite-its-lack-of-a-waist-and-pants- cactus...needs...

at an antique shop in new hope. if you ever need a purse. don't fret. just take your child's favorite stuffed animal, callously rip it open with the tine of a fork, rip out its insides, attach a belt, and voila! about two inches of space inside a pug that you can sling over your shoulder to compliment nearly any outfit that consists of feet-y pajamas.

god i miss feet-y pajamas.

this just about made my life. found at a staples in chatham, near jess' house. we wandered about aimlessly in the store while waiting for our chinese food and i came across these boxes. 'my, what tiny boxes,' i thought to myself, 'how they can possibly be of any storage use to anyone?'  BUT WAIT! what's this? "clear 0.2L REALLY USEFUL BOX"?!  you don't say! well i didn't want one before but i can no longer picture my life without this box in it! just think of how REALLY USEFUL this BOX could be!!

this is genius . i almost bought one just in hopes that the marketer got a penny from it. so . so. awesome

and i shall leave you with that.

this is the reason i like camera phones.