friday night at the molskis

Odd Happenings from friday evening:

precursor to the story:
If you know grandpa tony giglio at all, you may know of his garage. Sometimes gramps brings us random gifts, most from the garage. One day he gave me a birdcage music box that did not work. Another day, vintage free batman comics that I believe were an extra from burger king meals. Sometimes its just old books or ancient plumbing tools.granted sometimes its candy and wonderful things.
Usually I thoroughly enjoy all of these, but one of these gifts was different. .. scary actually. he gifted us two creepy fairy lawn ornament sculptures. One is sitting cross legged and raising her arms all the way, wings spread. The other is doing something equally odd that I don’t recall. Both are terrifying. I assure you.
Scott has kept them on the steps of the basement. They frighten me every time I try to go downstairs to get toilet paper or art supplies. I think they might be possessed. And the following just strengthens my worries:

(Scratch scratch scratch)
“what is that noise? Is that the dog? “ – anita
“is she ripping something?” – scott
“oh maybe”
“hmm.. maybe she’s attacking the fairy”- scott
though joking, scott went to investigate. He walks slowly into the foyer. Looks at her and walks back with the news:
“yes. She is definitely attacking the fairy. She is scratching it. I think she is going crazy. Snowie are you going crazy? Yes? Yes. She is going crazy. I think sometimes she goes crazy”- scott says all of this, looking somewhat crazy himself.
I walk over, pat her on the head, and say “good dog”. I knew something was wrong with those creepy fairies. And I am glad my trusty watch-schnauzer is trying to slap their concrete fairy grins off their creepy fairy faces. I think it will be a long and drawn out battle. ten minutes later we hear telltale scratching.
‘she’s attacking the fairy again.”

I tried to take a photo, but alas it was too dark. she's a good, smart dog. and those fairies are the devil. I think I should have put those things outside. I bet she will wake up and flip out and try to eat it and then she will need to go to the bathroom in the rain. If you ever read this blog, you know how she feels about rain. That’s just a whole other dilemma.


Since we are speaking of rain. And by we I mean I . and by speaking I mean writing....

Today my brother and I were upstairs looking out a window. Why we were in the same room standing next to each other looking out the same window, I cannot recall. However, that is the setting, so that’s how it must be.
scott looked out the window first and casually said 'hey is that part of our house?" the same unaffected tone you would use for ‘hey do you know what’s for dinner?”
I took this as a cue to look around, using the context clues from the question of course. I look down on the lawn and see what appears to be a large chunk of siding.
I consider it for a moment. Then i simply state "yes. Yes it is"
unconcerned silence for a minutes..
“shall we go investigate?” -scott asks
“yes. Yes we shall”
I was already wet from heroically saving the tomato plant that had been knocked over (“but its so hearty!”) so I just slapped on some flip flops and headed out.

We looked at the siding shrapnel. said yup. Siding. Then started a new fun game called ‘ where did this piece of a house come from?’ Some of the rules are determining whether or not to be concerned, get a bucket, get a tarp, or cry. We scanned the house. it took a while to find it… but i won. “ HA! There it is! I win! Big chunk over my room of course. How lovely. And potentially moist.”
First of all, it's all mangled and looks like a giant just got pissed at us and ripped it off for some people beating. Then upon seeing some kind of hornets or spiders nest ( OMG THAT’S WHERE THEY ALL COME FROM) he uttered a big giant eeeeeww and tossed it away rapidly in digust as though it were full of bees and spiders ( WHICH IT PROBABLY WAS).

When I decided finally that this was most likely not the case, I move onto my second, much more likely theory. Someone simpy seized the day. They carpe diemed, if you will.

“AH HA!” thinks vengeful neighbor, “ a crazy end of the world storm! What a perfect way to get rid of my strange mangled pointy nailed bit of siding. Instead of taking it to the dump I am going to run through the raindrops and toss it on the molski’s lawn. That little white dog has barked at me one too many times. I think that dog might be crazy.sometimes she goes crazy. And I cannot believe they put those effin creepy fairy statues out. Right after they got rid of the old gutted Porsche that was tied to a tree in the backyard. WELL. THIS will show em."

(heave. Clunk.)

"Now they will go crazy spending hours trying to find where this piece came from. After circling the house 54 times pulling their hair out, they will then give up, deem the house structurally unsound and unfit to live in, and take that yappy dog and move away!”

Unfortunately I think the real reason this happened was cause it was windy. I know that seems like a very outlandish explanation, but I hope you can use the imagination to stretch it.

Also regarding rain and stretching. boy my segues are awesome. almost as awesome as the segway that is the silly personal transporatation device.

Ray was discussing how scary the storm that he drove through to get dinner was. We said we were worried and were going to call, but we knew he wouldn’t have his cell phone. Since he never does. Everyone in the following conversation is entirely straight faced, deadpan and serious.

Scott tries to reason with ray for safety reasons, and proposes this scenario:
"what if you got hit by lightening and couldn't get out of the car? you should bring a cell phone."

Well ray has that figured out : "i would jump out the window,” he says.

Scott looks at him in slightly concerned disbelief, and presses him further:."you really think you're going to leap out of the car? you?" scott asks incredulously.

without even pausing to think, ray simply states: “I would dive out. Yes." and then he finishes up with
‘”so you fall on your face and mess it up. oh well. I would dive out of that car”.

There it is folks. Next time the circus is in town keep an eye out for 'old man' ray ‘ car diver’ molski

also just found that there was some sort of hoax about jeff goldblums death. Thank god I was too busy to notice it til its already been fixed. NOT FUNNY WORLD